Thursday, August 27, 2015

Six of my favorite mama books

My favorite pastime is reading.  I don't get to read as much as I would like nowadays, but I have read some good "mom" books over the past year or two of my life and wanted to share with others.



1. Babywise - a system that I only applied some of the concepts, not others, and stopped using a few months into Hunter's life

I originally started my journey into motherhood with scheduled feedings, scheduled naps, and parent led everything.  This helped me know how much a baby should sleep, how often to sleep, and built up my supply quickly and adequately for nursing.  I went back to work when Hunter was around 10-11 weeks and a few months later my scheduled times fell apart.  Daycare tried to stick to them but I soon saw they placed him on their schedule, which really wasn't much different, until he got to around 6 months and again at 9 months I lost control over how to schedule his day.  I realized as I introduced solids (I did mostly homemade purees but now and for my next I will do baby led weaning with some purees if we are out or not home) my pumped breastmilk supply dwindled so low I was unable to maintain a schedule and started to do an "on demand" approach.  Also, my schedule at work changed dramatically - I had some days I report at 8 am, some days at 6 am, some days get paged throughout the night, and there was no way for consistency.  Feeding on demand, letting him sleep when he wanted, helped me survive months somewhere between 4-6 and now (almost 16 months) because I wanted to continue to provide Hunter exclusively with breastmilk.  Looking retrospectively, I don't regret scheduling him so much (as it really only worked once he got 6 weeks or more until about 4 months when sleep regression hit, and hit hard), but it is absolutely more relaxed to feed a baby when he shows signs of hunger and put him down for a nap when he shows signs of tiredness.  What the scheduling DID help was I often fed him before he had to cry because he was hungry.  Everytime I fed him in those early days, I set an alarm for 3 hours later and offered to feed again at that time.  Eventually he fell into a Baby Wise type schedule. 

I was never on board with cry it out and never will be.  Especially when they are so newborn, so little, and so helpless.  I can only imagine what it does to their inner psyche to have to scream bloody newborn crying murder until they fatigue enough to fall asleep.  Not for me.  (And even more so not for Mr. Mama Heart.  He CAN NOT let him even be sad/cry/whimper for a second.  #softie)

When we finally moved into our long awaited newly built house in Oct 2014, I did have to unfortunately let him cry a little in the pack and play in our room because I was riding solo in the evenings then and had no choice.  My only option was to shower in the evening, because #momlife, and he needed to be somewhere safe while I showered.  Often, he fell asleep during this time.  I read parts of Baby Wise II but had a hard time understanding ideas such as - don't buy a mat for under the high chair because then you won't make the effort to teach a child not to throw food on the floor.  Well, Hunter only throws food on the floor after he is done eating and if I am not giving my 100% attention because I am doing something like dishes.  And, as he eats, food goes everywhere.  So, I broke down last week and bought a mat.  And it has made me so happy!



2. Surprised by Motherhood

I believe I found this title by recommendation from one of my mom bloggers... anyways, I bought this book on tape to maximize by commute-to-work time.  I spend about an hour in the car or more daily in just the commute to and from work.  I downloaded an audiobook app and purchased this book (not cheap for audible books!).  It only took probabl 2 weeks or less to finish to book, and I enjoyed it.  It was had a good bit of religion intertwined, which I wasn't expecting, but the first few chapters spoke to me.  I really enjoyed her voice narrating her story and I really enjoyed the motherhood message she had to deliver. 

I wish I had read it sooner, when I was in my middle of the night nursings and sick of Netflix and already completed Orange is the New Black marathons.  I want to relisten to it just wring about my experience reading the book.  I wasn't sure if I would enjoy a book on tape, but I did.  I listened to it most days.  In the middle and towards the end it got a little slow but overall it was a good "listen".  It was odd to me in the beginning because she was almost the opposite of me, not sure if she even wanted children (I wanted to be a mom since I was a little girl, and as soon as I was married I was ready.) as she lost her mom early on which truly impacted her desire for motherhood.  She finds herself eventually and it is a beautiful story.  Her life is also much unlike mine, she is from another country and lived/has seen placed I never will, but I loved to hear her descriptions of what the life of a new mom entails and the emotions experienced.

3. Chicken Soup for the Mother's Soul

I was gifted this book by my grandma... and I occasionally read a few stories in a row, put it down, read a few more a few weeks later. 

4. The Nursing Mother's Companion

I had the 6th edition.  I read this book front cover to back in the latter stages of my pregnancy.  Not much of it made sense then, so I re-read multiple sections and used it as my "textbook".  I loved it so much I bought it for a few other plan-to-breastfood moms in the past year or so to add to the shower gift.  It was the exact opposite approach to the Baby Wise Book and I applied a lot of the reasoning often in making decisions on how to nuture and spend my time with Hunter.  I read it to much the cover is "dog eared" and I will save it to re-read with future baby/babies.  There is even a section on how to handle nursing twins

5. The Milk Mama Diaries

This book I read when I needed inspiration to continue pumping 3-4 times at work despite the demands of my job.  I read this in a night, maybe 2, and passed it along to a fellow pumping mama.  Little did I know, my job would very much change I would "steal" an empy office that soon became a pumping ground for about 4 other pumpin mamas!  I wish I had copied their idea to keep a journal for all the mamas to take turns writing in to keep up the hope and make it through the day without our little ones, but my time pumping there was short lived from Feb - June and I was just trying to get in, get out, and go back to work after!


6. The no-cry sleep method

I bought this in my fatigue laden life when Hunter was 4 months.  I read maybe 3-4 chapters, never got to the nitty gritty of how to get a baby to sleep without letting him cry it out, but did learn that a nighttime ritual or routine is essential.  I apply this now and it helps a lot.  Repetitive nighttime activities and keeping a fairly exact time are cruicial and my saving grace these days.

I still have yet to finish this book, maybe someday, but I think it has some other good ideas (like shorten the afternoon nap to help them fall asleep easier in the evening) that may be one day useful for Baby Mama Heart #2 whenever the time comes.

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I plan to come back, add photos, and reference links to all the books.  I wanted to share the info and I am borrowing Mr.Mama Heart's lap top which I have been told strictly "no downloading", so I will update this post in the future with this information.  Feel free to message me on FB or email me @ kassandrapa {at} gmail {dot} com and I will email you individual links and authors so you can find the books also!

What is your favorite mama book? Favorite nursing advice/info book?  Did you do scheduled feedings or on demand, and why?  Keep on keepin on mamas, its Thursday and that only means one thing.  Tomorrow is Friday!

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