Showing posts with label cryitout. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cryitout. Show all posts

Thursday, August 27, 2015

Six of my favorite mama books

My favorite pastime is reading.  I don't get to read as much as I would like nowadays, but I have read some good "mom" books over the past year or two of my life and wanted to share with others.



1. Babywise - a system that I only applied some of the concepts, not others, and stopped using a few months into Hunter's life

I originally started my journey into motherhood with scheduled feedings, scheduled naps, and parent led everything.  This helped me know how much a baby should sleep, how often to sleep, and built up my supply quickly and adequately for nursing.  I went back to work when Hunter was around 10-11 weeks and a few months later my scheduled times fell apart.  Daycare tried to stick to them but I soon saw they placed him on their schedule, which really wasn't much different, until he got to around 6 months and again at 9 months I lost control over how to schedule his day.  I realized as I introduced solids (I did mostly homemade purees but now and for my next I will do baby led weaning with some purees if we are out or not home) my pumped breastmilk supply dwindled so low I was unable to maintain a schedule and started to do an "on demand" approach.  Also, my schedule at work changed dramatically - I had some days I report at 8 am, some days at 6 am, some days get paged throughout the night, and there was no way for consistency.  Feeding on demand, letting him sleep when he wanted, helped me survive months somewhere between 4-6 and now (almost 16 months) because I wanted to continue to provide Hunter exclusively with breastmilk.  Looking retrospectively, I don't regret scheduling him so much (as it really only worked once he got 6 weeks or more until about 4 months when sleep regression hit, and hit hard), but it is absolutely more relaxed to feed a baby when he shows signs of hunger and put him down for a nap when he shows signs of tiredness.  What the scheduling DID help was I often fed him before he had to cry because he was hungry.  Everytime I fed him in those early days, I set an alarm for 3 hours later and offered to feed again at that time.  Eventually he fell into a Baby Wise type schedule. 

I was never on board with cry it out and never will be.  Especially when they are so newborn, so little, and so helpless.  I can only imagine what it does to their inner psyche to have to scream bloody newborn crying murder until they fatigue enough to fall asleep.  Not for me.  (And even more so not for Mr. Mama Heart.  He CAN NOT let him even be sad/cry/whimper for a second.  #softie)

When we finally moved into our long awaited newly built house in Oct 2014, I did have to unfortunately let him cry a little in the pack and play in our room because I was riding solo in the evenings then and had no choice.  My only option was to shower in the evening, because #momlife, and he needed to be somewhere safe while I showered.  Often, he fell asleep during this time.  I read parts of Baby Wise II but had a hard time understanding ideas such as - don't buy a mat for under the high chair because then you won't make the effort to teach a child not to throw food on the floor.  Well, Hunter only throws food on the floor after he is done eating and if I am not giving my 100% attention because I am doing something like dishes.  And, as he eats, food goes everywhere.  So, I broke down last week and bought a mat.  And it has made me so happy!



2. Surprised by Motherhood

I believe I found this title by recommendation from one of my mom bloggers... anyways, I bought this book on tape to maximize by commute-to-work time.  I spend about an hour in the car or more daily in just the commute to and from work.  I downloaded an audiobook app and purchased this book (not cheap for audible books!).  It only took probabl 2 weeks or less to finish to book, and I enjoyed it.  It was had a good bit of religion intertwined, which I wasn't expecting, but the first few chapters spoke to me.  I really enjoyed her voice narrating her story and I really enjoyed the motherhood message she had to deliver. 

I wish I had read it sooner, when I was in my middle of the night nursings and sick of Netflix and already completed Orange is the New Black marathons.  I want to relisten to it just wring about my experience reading the book.  I wasn't sure if I would enjoy a book on tape, but I did.  I listened to it most days.  In the middle and towards the end it got a little slow but overall it was a good "listen".  It was odd to me in the beginning because she was almost the opposite of me, not sure if she even wanted children (I wanted to be a mom since I was a little girl, and as soon as I was married I was ready.) as she lost her mom early on which truly impacted her desire for motherhood.  She finds herself eventually and it is a beautiful story.  Her life is also much unlike mine, she is from another country and lived/has seen placed I never will, but I loved to hear her descriptions of what the life of a new mom entails and the emotions experienced.

3. Chicken Soup for the Mother's Soul

I was gifted this book by my grandma... and I occasionally read a few stories in a row, put it down, read a few more a few weeks later. 

4. The Nursing Mother's Companion

I had the 6th edition.  I read this book front cover to back in the latter stages of my pregnancy.  Not much of it made sense then, so I re-read multiple sections and used it as my "textbook".  I loved it so much I bought it for a few other plan-to-breastfood moms in the past year or so to add to the shower gift.  It was the exact opposite approach to the Baby Wise Book and I applied a lot of the reasoning often in making decisions on how to nuture and spend my time with Hunter.  I read it to much the cover is "dog eared" and I will save it to re-read with future baby/babies.  There is even a section on how to handle nursing twins. 

5. The Milk Mama Diaries

This book I read when I needed inspiration to continue pumping 3-4 times at work despite the demands of my job.  I read this in a night, maybe 2, and passed it along to a fellow pumping mama.  Little did I know, my job would very much change I would "steal" an empy office that soon became a pumping ground for about 4 other pumpin mamas!  I wish I had copied their idea to keep a journal for all the mamas to take turns writing in to keep up the hope and make it through the day without our little ones, but my time pumping there was short lived from Feb - June and I was just trying to get in, get out, and go back to work after!


6. The no-cry sleep method

I bought this in my fatigue laden life when Hunter was 4 months.  I read maybe 3-4 chapters, never got to the nitty gritty of how to get a baby to sleep without letting him cry it out, but did learn that a nighttime ritual or routine is essential.  I apply this now and it helps a lot.  Repetitive nighttime activities and keeping a fairly exact time are cruicial and my saving grace these days.

I still have yet to finish this book, maybe someday, but I think it has some other good ideas (like shorten the afternoon nap to help them fall asleep easier in the evening) that may be one day useful for Baby Mama Heart #2 whenever the time comes.

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I plan to come back, add photos, and reference links to all the books.  I wanted to share the info and I am borrowing Mr.Mama Heart's lap top which I have been told strictly "no downloading", so I will update this post in the future with this information.  Feel free to message me on FB or email me @ kassandrapa {at} gmail {dot} com and I will email you individual links and authors so you can find the books also!

What is your favorite mama book? Favorite nursing advice/info book?  Did you do scheduled feedings or on demand, and why?  Keep on keepin on mamas, its Thursday and that only means one thing.  Tomorrow is Friday!

Sunday, August 16, 2015

How to survive life with a toddler | Tips from mymamaheart blog




Life with a toddler can be.. interesting.  I wanted to share a few "life hacks" that help me on a daily basis..... because #momlife.


1. Be prepared.  I can't say this enough.  I have a car organizer (thanks mom) with three sections in it- I use it for all my car "organization" of all toddler-needed items.  I keep extra clothes (who knows when it's going to suddenly be freezing one morning or evening when you live in WV?) zip lock bags "ready to go" with snacks/bibs/burp cloths/empty sippy cup for water, extra pacifiers, children's tylenol, my tula baby carrier, and the list goes on.  I spend a lot of time in my car, an hour a day or more even if I only go to work and straight home.  If I go on even one errand, I need to have plenty of snacks and a clean sippy cup to share my ice water (hospital ice is the best) for wherever we venture on our way home (Aldi's, Kroger's....).

2. Be willing to compromise.  I say no plenty (electrical outlets, walking alone in a parking lot, obvious dangers!) but sometimes I really wish Hunter wouldn't eat another 20 Teddy Graham crackers.. but if it stops him from screaming because he is obviously very hungry and we are obviously still twenty minutes from home on a six hour trip, then so be it.  I'm not necessarily giving into everything he ever wanted, but sometimes, you have to do a risk benefit analysis.  Just like my daily job in medicine... is it the best idea to have a toddler sustained on glorified "cookies"? No.  But, did I make two eggs for him when we came home, yes.  And that made mymamaheart feel just a tad bit better he ate chicken strips more times than I prefer to admit this weekend.  Because its all going to be okay, in moderation.

3. Take a break.  I made the mistake of once asking said close family member "Will you please watch Hunter while I *insert whatever here, eat, go to the bathroom, shower, you get the point".  A wise friend recently told me, DONT ASK JUST DO.  :) Wonderful advice, and it worked very well a few hours ago.  I hadn't showered in approximately 24-36 hours and it was time.  This was probably more my fault but it was time.  Spray AANT non-toxic deodorant can only work for so long.

4. Make dates.  Make them with your husband/significant other, girlfriends, and work colleagues.  If you don't schedule and plan for them, they won't happen.  Sometimes, a thirteen months of your life may go by and you realize you haven't been to a formal exercise class, and you may miss that- so schedule something.

5. Take help.  If you are carrying a 20+ pound child on one hip, bending down to pick up two-three more bags, and someone offers to help, take it.  I probably should listen to my own advice- maybe I wouldn't have a small laceration on said mama's forehead from said mama's large, heavy nikon d700 camera.... just sayin'.

6. Drink green smoothies.  Make them, freeze them, drink them later.  Take said green smoothie, place in mason jar, freeze, and grab on the way you run out the door.  Later in the day, you will have a healthy milkshake replacement.  MMM.

7. Pick a bed time and stick to it.  I move Hunter's up an hour a few weeks ago and it has helped us.  I was wishy-washy for a few months on the bedtime routine... then I realized waking up a one+year old at 5 am is no fun for anyone.... so in came the 7 pm bedtime.  Promptly at 6:30 he starts to rub his eyes, bath time happens, then he goes down fairly easily.

8. Keep a small "on the go" make up bag in your car.  I rarely find the time to throw on any make up while I am getting ready to leave the house with Hunter.  A good friend bought me the (medium I believe) Vera Bradley make up bag that works well to throw in my work bag, throw in my diaper bag, or just leave in my car.  I keep mascara, lip gloss, an eyebrow pencil, and BB cream for when I need to make myself presentable (again, those after work needed dates that happen once every 6 months, ok.. once every few weeks!).  I also keep my essential oil roller ball so I can feel "fresh".

9. Carry a water bottle everywhere.  This a good habit to stay healthy and has dramatically decreased my previous "I need a milk shake or a diet coke" runs to multiple fast food places in the past.  If you are thirsty, theres nothin' like a big bottle of ice water.  Lots of ice, of course.  Hunter sees my water bottle and it often providers some entertainment if he gets grumpy in the car.  And if I haven't filled up a sippy cup for him yet, a few of my water bottles have straws he can use/drink from also.

10. Buy matching clothes.  I have an entire room upstairs covered with small piles of folded clothes.  A few match, most don't.  This I have only partially implemented so I am a bad advice-giver.  Sorry!  I have been wonderfully gifted tons of clothing which we love.  But in the (rare) instance I buy anything, I keep to the same color scheme and hope to someday work towards a capsule wardrobe for each season/size of babyhood as we go along in life.

What are your toddler tips?  Any other ideas that would help me or other like-minded mamas?